Contemplative Practices Archives - Spiritual Director- Sweet Georgia Pam

“Sweet Georgia Pam is an old soul in a young and spirited body! Since meeting Pam, I have been inspired by her groundedness and her relationship with Spirit. If you are seeking spiritual direction and value that comes from having a wise and insightful committed listener, reach out to Pam. She will feed your spirit and enrich your life.”
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S.M.
“I have been using Pam for spiritual direction and dream work for several months now. I’ve been going thru some really tough times, not knowing which way to turn! Pam’s insights have helped me to gain some much needed clarity on my situation. Thru dream interpretation, she has helped me to get to the heart of the matter quickly and to find resolution. Her wisdom, experience and intuitive abilities are nothing short of amazing! I recommend her to absolutely everyone!!!”
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Jennifer
“Pam is incredibly gifted and intuitive. I have to admit I was slightly skeptical about dream interpretation at first but quickly changed my mind. I was startled by Pam’s accuracy. I have recommended her services to several friends and always rely on her when I have particularly significant dreams.”
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Simone
Pam is perhaps the most insightful person I have ever met. She truly listens and seeks to truly understand you as a person. She is one of those people who makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world when speaking with you. Her observations are spot on and her advice is transformational. Trust me, you will adore her!
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Meredith
Pam is a gifted spiritual director who has worked hard, studied, and walked some difficult roads, all in preparation for becoming a spiritual companion. Her heart is soft and open and she has truly done–and continues to do–her own work. Because she understands who she is on this life journey, she can be an outstanding guide for anyone seeking spiritual guidance. As someone who identifies as a Highly Sensitive Person, I have found Pam to be especially understanding of the challenges that come with being an HSP. I trust Pam implicitly and rejoice that she is in my life.
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Sharon

unconsciously un-committing to things

April 17, 2017April 29, 2017
by sweetgeorgiapam

That’s what came up in my last session with my spiritual director. I periodically have been “unconsciously un-committing myself to things without telling myself” (my own words).

In session, I discovered realized I have a subtle pattern of being ‘absent-minded’ during some significant moments in my life. I genuinely forget about certain commitments. It’s like I go momentarily blind to important responsibilities at seemingly random times.

My spiritual director suggested that I sit with the question about why I might do that or what motivation that unconscious part of me might have to decide suddenly to withdraw us (me) from something we had committed to. It seemed like a very interesting query. I was excited to get started on it. So after the session ended, I did spend some time holding that question out in front of me.

I have several tools that I use for this task. I surrender the question to God, I consult my dreams, I sit in contemplative (prayerful) silence and wait, I journal an internal dialogue and I invite that part of my unconscious to help me understand the situation more clearly.

So far, my efforts have been only partially rewarded with some glimmers of better understanding. But, it feels as slow as staring at the hour hand of a clock and waiting for it to move from 9 to 12.

This morning I was reminded that, as far as unconsciously un-committing to things, I’m still in the dark about it and so I am still vulnerable to being caught by surprise when I do it to myself once again.

I had read an article by one of my favorite current contemplatives, Carl McColman. His post, “Is it possible to be a “Do It Yourself” Christian Mystic? Evelyn Underhill would say “No” — and I agree with her” was spot on in line with my desire to live into the balance between mysticism and a structured daily religion practice.

So, I bravely hit the “share on fb” button and proceeded to add my commentary on top of the link to the article. I read over my post, felt the vulnerability of sharing a truth about myself that might draw out a fb discussion (because, God forbid I insight deep discussion that may possibly perhaps include differing opinions on the matter from people), took a deep breath and hit “Share”.

The window that popped up confirming that I had just successfully shared my view, made me laugh out loud. “What?! No, that’s not what I meant to do. Dammit,” I said out loud to only me. I had inadvertently shared my vulnerable post to the OLD fb page for my spiritual direction practice; the old page that was no longer visible to anyone! I had unconsciously un-committed myself to posting it publicly!

That, my friends, was my reminder this morning that doing inner work to bring my shadows and their motivations into the light is work that is 1. important to do if you want to be who you think you’re being, and 2. hard to do because hidden agendas like to stay hidden and are very slick operators!

I will continue to open up and explore this pattern I have in the hopes that by understanding it consciously, I can avoid being blind-sided by it unconsciously.

Contemplative Practices

the quickest way to drop into silence

March 28, 2017May 2, 2017
by sweetgeorgiapam

This is all you need to do in order to begin cultivating a practice of silence in your daily life.

Pick a time during the day when you are alone in your own space. It might be when you are getting dressed in the privacy of your closet, or in the car while sitting in traffic, or while brushing your teeth, or whatever time is routine for you where you are alone.
Turn on some source of sound. I turn on the radio in the car or the news when I am in the kitchen/living room. When I am putting on make up in the bathroom, I will turn on the sink faucet or the tub faucet. If I am no where near sound, I will sing a song (but not one that is slow and sweet, one that is upbeat like pop or rock, etc). The point is to introduce some loud background noise.
Consider silence for a moment, in the midst of the noise. Don’t do this for too long- just a few breaths. Try and pay attention to your internal silence while the background noise is going on. (NOTE: I often begin this process here at step 3. The first 2 steps don’t have to be intentional. Sometimes I will realize suddenly while I am doing my daily routine that I am alone and that there is background noise and that interior silence is present.)
Turn off the source of the noise and pay attention to the transition! That’s the sweet spot, y’all. In the first moments when you notice that there is an absence of noise, silence is amplified. It won’t last because your mind will quickly take over and fill the empty space with mental noise of it’s own. That is ok and normal. I usually turn the noise back on after only a few minutes because the sweet moments of amplified silence fade so fast.

The point is not the length of the silence. The point, y’all, is the quality of the silence. If you do this once or twice today, you’ll be gaining brief moments of stillness that have the potential to draw you in, to draw you closer to the source of stillness and to entice you to pause more often.

Try it and then come back and let me know about your experience. I would love to hear if it works as well for you as it does for me. And maybe you have other ways you introduce silence into your life. What else works?

~Sweet Georgia Pam

Contemplative Practices

why does it fall apart like that?

September 27, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

My seven year old asked me this morning, as he watched the pieces of the Vidalia onion I was cutting fall apart on the cutting board, “why does it just fall apart like that?”

My answer was quick and factual, “because the skin is what holds it together; and when I cut the skin away, the inside is just layers and there’s nothing holding them to each other.”

He took that at face value and then followed up with, “Mom, what is an onion made of?”

I’m used to his amazingly simplistic and yet strikingly interesting questions, so I didn’t miss a beat, “onion is made out of onion. It just grows in nature as an onion.”

So, y’all, he was satisfied and went back to his breakfast. I, however, was left hearing those questions echo around in my mind.

Why does it just fall apart like that? What is it made out of?

My deeply spiritual-self has been soaking in those questions since then. I managed to sit in prayer for a solid 1o minutes this morning, which is rare for me lately. I am a pretty poor practitioner of stillness these days. But I did do it, finally, today.

Immediately, when I closed my eyes, I began to sift through all the layers of mental and physical chatter that are held together underneath my skin.

When I sit in humble silence, without expectation, just to be sitting in the practice of presence before the Greater-Than-Me (the Cloud of Unknowing, God), my layers fall apart. They just fall apart.

And, as long as I don’t try to actively keep them together, as long as I don’t hold onto them, they’ll just slide right open and what I am made of seems to be just layers of myself.

Truly, y’all, I have no grand aha! here. All I am sharing is a couple of questions floating around and disrupting the certainty of what I think I am.

Why does it fall apart like that? What is it made of?

Sweet readers, to let me know this post has reached you, please like, share, comment or send me good, loving vibes. Thanks! ~Sweet Georgia Pam

Bio

The Practice of Pausing

August 15, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

I have found so much peace in my life just by setting aside a few minutes of devotional time in the morning.

The form of devotion changes but the affect is the same. I am able to pause more often in the day and check in with no judgement or expectation.
It’s nice 🙂

Conversely, when I do not take time to center in the mornings (I mean really set aside purposeful time just for centering and nothing else), I find it nearly impossible to pause throughout the day.

Taking time in the morning helps me remember during the day to pause, to breath, to center down, to let go of anxiety. When I practice in the mornings, I automatically pause more often. It’s quite simple and at the same time, surprisingly difficult to do!

Book Reviews

Recipe for Spiritual Progress

August 5, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

Wake up, empty yourself out, give yourself over to grace. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Wake up– nourish the stirring desire in you to go deeper, to ‘know thyself’, to examine your behaviors, your beliefs, and your motives; it doesn’t mean get to work, it just means turn your attention to the desire that is stirring within you.

Empty yourself out– as you settle your gaze inward, wait and watch all the thoughts, all the body sensations that flood your attention; once we turn inward, we create a little space between us and the outside world; that empty space gets filled in almost immediately by mind chatter and body discomfort; watch all the flooding that happens and wait patiently (sometimes up to 20 minutes) for it to subside. It may not completely disappear, but it will settle into the background leaving stillness and silence in the foreground of your mind.

Give yourself over to grace– resist the urge to fill in the emptiness on your own once you realize that it is present; instead, insert one single syllable word or sound as your substitute for thoughts (like “grace” or “om” or “ah”); by leaving your mind empty, you’re giving yourself over to grace and allowing Divinity to work within you. It’s not about you knowing, feeling or even sensing the work being done; its about the practice of giving yourself over to grace.

This practice will bear fruits in your life that come from a greater source than yourself.

The idea and inspiration for this post came from Alan Jones’ book Soul Making: The Desert Way of Spirituality (find it on Amazon).

Sweet readers, please follow this blog and like this post if it strikes a cord with you. Thanks!

Contemplative Practices

Soul Gazing in art

August 4, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

I found these images to be striking. Think of what is being offered, of what is available to people who soul gaze with these! Do you think soul gazing with an inanimate object (like a painting or statue) would elicit the same vulnerability as if you were doing the same with a person?

Do you remember in the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” where they go into the Chicago Museum and soul gaze with the artwork?! Here’s a very cool clip of that with commentary from the director, John Hughes, about the symbolism. Listen at the end when he talks about Cameron’s soul gazing with the child in the image. Fascinating.

Contemplative Practices

Soul Gazing event in Miami

August 3, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

Someone in Miami is inviting the whole town to soul gaze. Whew! That challenges my notion of what’s comfortable. As a highly sensitive person, it feels overwhelming to me. I am always cautious when going against the norm. It’s an area of growth for me. But seeing these people open up to it and to be so accepting makes it feel safer to me (at least for them).

How about you? Is this something you’d ever do? What if you came upon it while you were going about your normal day, would you join in?

sun-sentinel.com/features/eye-gazing-event-miami-20160627-story.html

Contemplative Practices

Soul Gazing

August 2, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

In one of my retreats, we do an activity called Soul Gazing.

Soul gazing is when you simply look someone in the eyes and they return the gaze for a few minutes.

If you’ve ever participated in this activity, you know how utterly challenging it is. Just watch what happens in this video of people Soul Gazing for just 4 minutes. (YouTube; 5:17)

Soul Gazing is the act of beholding another person without taking the opportunity to engage with them, to change them, or to try and help them. It is also the act of being beheld. You are seen exactly as you are without words or actions to support you. Just beholding is all that is needed to break down barriers in a relationship.

So, why isn’t it easy?

To bare witness to someone is to hold them without leaning in to physically hold them. They must stand on their own and that can be terrifying. To the one being witnessed (held), it may feel like being under a scrutinizing spotlight. To the one witnessing (holding), it can be really hard to allow that awkwardness to come up without soothing it or trying to comfort that person.

We humans just inevitably lean in towards each other.

I don’t ask my participants to soul gaze for very long and I always introduce many ways to adjust for people’s comfort levels (not trying to force some big awakening or break through). I just want them to get a taste of vulnerability.

Vulnerability sets us free.

In the contemplative prayer practice, called Centering Prayer, you allow yourself to be vulnerable before the Great Creator. Your small, nothingness is laid bare and you are loved completely.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow-this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert (link to credit)

Centering prayer is Soul Gazing with God. This powerful practice will change your life.

It isn’t easy but it will set you free.

Sweet readers, please follow this blog and like this post if it strikes a cord with you. Thanks!

Contemplative Practices

"I-Thou" or "You, Me, and Sometimes God"?

August 1, 2016
by sweetgeorgiapam

My most favorite thing I learned to do in spiritual direction is to sit in stillness and wait. Well, ok, not really. Sitting in stillness is terribly awkward sometimes. Ok, most of the time. Silence is really challenging alone, but put two or more people together and the silence has a pressure in it that is palpable- at least to my highly sensitive self.

So, actually my most favorite thing I learned to do in spiritual direction is to wait. Well, that’s not really true either. I’m one of the most impatient people around. My husband laughs every time I buy something new because I rip open the package the moment I get in the car- the ride home is like Christmas morning.

So, I guess what I really mean to say is –

My most favorite thing I learned in spiritual direction is the VALUE of sitting in silence and waiting.

I learned that silence is really important. In sessions, silence reminds me that no one is there to hear my opinion on things- not the client and not God; the best thing I can do is to be silent. It keeps my own issues, biases and suggestions at bay and let’s the wisdom come from other sources (the directee herself and Divinity itself). That is not to say that I don’t speak up during sessions. I do. A Lot. But silence is an integral part of the equation, as it should be in any spiritual practice.

I learned, too, that waiting is equally important. Waiting means that I have faith that the answer will present itself. That’s the Faith piece that most people who come for spiritual direction need. They need someone to wait with them and to have a hopeful outlook, to have faith that God is already working for them always and in all ways.

By sitting in silence (when its called for) and being willing to wait (as long as it takes), I become the holder of the room and the dialogue becomes an “I-Thou” dialogue between a spiritual directee and her God instead of a “you, me and sometimes God” dialogue.

Sweet readers, please follow this blog and like this post if it strikes a cord with you. Thanks!

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