Years ago I found myself sitting face to face with a Shaman who told me a truth I had never heard before. I was at Miraval Resort and Spa and had signed up for the Spirit Flight service, which by the way is amazing (AH…Mazing). Anyway, I had just arrived for my appointment and was giving Dr. Tim Frank a general introduction as to why I was there. I told him about my years of infertility, followed by the birth of my son, followed by more infertility. My problem, I explained was infertility.
“No, it isn’t,” he said flatly.
Now, y’all, I don’t talk about it much but I have a good deal of sensitive, intuitive ability. It is not something I claim for myself, I don’t advertise it because it’s just in my nature to be highly in tuned to non-verbal information; but sometimes that information comes from ‘other wordly’ places. So, I recognize other intuitives when I meet them.
This guy was one of them. I watched his eyes as they moved around and above me. I recognized the way he asserted information as if it were common knowledge, visible to everyone who was looking in the space he was looking. He was intuiting information and his eyes lit up as he laughed and shared with me this new truth. “You are in fact flooded with fertility! You can’t turn it off there’s so much coming in!”
For a very brief moment I tried to correct him, but as I opened my mouth, it dawned on me that he was speaking the absolute truth. I am in fact very, very fertile.
Fertility extends beyond the regular definition of the ability to make human life. It is the ability to create, to be open to creation and to nurture something in one’s interior until it is capable of sustaining itself in the exterior.
In that respect, this Shaman spoke the God’s honest truth. My problem was not getting access to creation, but controlling it once it was turned on.
I recently met with the executive director at the Ignatius House Retreat Center and our meeting was very promising! I am in the process of imagining ways I might be able to offer my services, retreats, workshops and small groups at their amazing Sandy Springs campus. This, however, has nearly brought my skills to a halt. For the past two days I have been dogged day and night by an onslaught of ideas- workshops, retreats, days of reflection, focus groups, dream groups and new ways to develop one on one relationships. I sit down to work for an hour and spend several hours frantically trying to keep up with the mental flood of thoughts.
My problem is not starting a thing. My problem has never been starting. No, my problem is controlling the flow so that out of ten thousand thoughts, a few get the time, attention and energy they need in the interior to be sustainable in the exterior.
The grace I need in my life is strength to focus on the quality of a few single ideas over the quantity of seeds of ideas that generate the instant a door is opened to me.
Anybody else? Are you blessed with creativity, cursed by it or denied access to it? If you’re like me, what advice do you have? I’m a little worried that it’ll make me lose out on some opportunities because I’m to busy collecting ideas to actually send them out into the world!